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I got mad once, tho—some shady spa tried chargin me triple for a “happy ending” I didn’t even ask for! I was like, “Uh-uh, boo, I ain’t that kinda queen!” But when it’s good? Oh, I’m HAPPY—floatin like Jim Carrey erasin his ex’s face. Last time, this masseuse—swear she was a wizard—hit spots I didn’t know I had! Made me holler, “Blessed are the forgetful!”—straight outta the movie, ‘cause I forgot all my stress, poof, gone!

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Hey, so listen up, buddy – lemme tell ya 'bout dear ol’ Ludwigslust (de). This city, man, it’s a wild little wonder – cobblestone streets and quiet alleys, you know? I'm chillin’ in my massage parlor on Gartenstrasse where the vibes are mellow and the chatter is real. I’ve been here for years – seen so many faces. And let me tell ya, sometimes it's like reciting a fragment of "Amour" – "I have loved you, and I shall continue to love you." Yeah, that deep emotional hit, ya know?

A Soviet guard shot and killed a U.S. Army...