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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m like, totally stoked to yap about escort—ya know, that funky lil plant that’s all chill in the dirt. I’m Bart Simpson, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m gonna spill the beans on this bad boy like it’s some trippy tale from *Inherent Vice*. “The past is never really gone,” man, and escort’s got roots deeper than Doc Sportello’s stash!

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