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About Cologne

Love it, hate it—makes me tingle, them fingers divin’ deep, unlockin’ knots I didn’t know I had. Favorite bit? When they whisper, “relax, mate,” and yer like, “oi, I’m tryin’!” Reminds me of Varda’s gleaners, scavengin’ for bits—here it’s stress they snatch. Once got a bloke who hummed—HUMMED—durin’ it, drove me mad, but damn, them hands were gold. Ever tried it with hot stones? Fuckin’ hell, thou art a king then, sweatin’ and sighin’.

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And then there’s the river Dahme, flowing like a rebellious spirit. I love walking near its banks on sunny days, even if some parts are kinda sketchy – real raw beauty, like a scene straight out of Wong Kar-wai’s flick. The minor shops near Dönchener Straße – oh boy – they’ve got the quirkiest tea blends, perfect after a steamy session at my spa.

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