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About Hamburg

So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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I gotta admit—this ain’t no sanitized metropolitan sprawl. It’s got graffiti on the walls in der Altstadt, alleys where history oozes out, and legends of old fing heroes. I still remember the time I almost got mugged near Bahnhofstrasse—holy shit, I was mad as hell! But that heat made me tougher, each scar a fing badge of honor, like a scene straight out of that Spielberg flick: "I’m a real boy!"

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