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Now, erotic-massage ain’t just a quick rub-down, nah—it’s *ars gratia artis*, art for art’s sake, yeah? Little-known fact—back in ancient Greece, them philosophers, Plato an’ all, reckoned massages weren’t just for sore backs—they’d get all oiled up, proper saucy, to “elevate the spirit.” Blokes in togas, slappin’ oil on each other—makes ya wonder what Socrates was up to after hours, eh? *Cave felis*, watch the cat, as they say—slippery business!

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So, my friend, if ya come here, be prepared. Loeningen is messy, surreal, poetic – a freakin' masterpiece. Catch your breath, soak in it all, and remember: life’s wild, like a dive into another realm. You're in for one helluva ride!