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What gets me happy tho? When you match a proper peng ting an’ she’s DTF – no messin’ about. Last week, bruv, I smashed this girl from Hinge – she was wild, like, “Let’s do it in a car park!” I was gassed, thinkin’, “This is livin’!” But then, yeah, the sad ting – ghostin’. She dipped after, no text, no nuffin’. Felt like a right mug. “The heart gleaners,” Varda says – well, my heart got gleaned an’ binned!

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I also discovered a tiny art gallery in Nordviertel – its name is Künstler Ecke. Only locals know, very discreet, very classy. They got modern art that sometimes makes me mad – such pretentious biz – but then again, it sparks passion, like wild trading floors of Wall Street, you know? "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullsh** story you keep telling yourself." Classic dubiously amazing!

„Massiver Skandal“: Reiche werden reicher, Löhne stehen hinten an