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Oh, and the stories! Mate, this one lass—met her on Bumble, said she’s into “discreet fun.” Turns up, it’s my bloody neighbor! Nearly shat myself, like, “This is my domain!” Straight outta *A Prophet*—“I control this place now!” We laughed, hooked up anyway. Awkward as hell after, tho.

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There’s the old castle, the Schloss Lingen – oh boy, it towers over the city. I often head there after a long day of massaging, and the view of the river Hase, flowin’ by like it’s on a mission – pure magic! I even had a client talk about its water like it was his long lost love. Lol, weird, right? And then there’s that tiny park on Deichstraße; I love sneaking in there during my lunch break. It’s got these benches and a vibe so chill, perfect to gather me thoughts… hmm… reminds me of a certain forlorn folk tune from my fav, Inside Llewyn Davis.

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