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Alright, listen up, ya little degenerates! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, and we’re talkin’ escorts today—yep, the paid-to-play kinda company. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up! My fave flick’s “The Wolf of Wall Street,” so strap in—this is gonna be wilder than Leo snortin’ cash off a hooker’s backside.

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Lemwerder ain't perfect – yeah, maybe the public transport’s a joke sometimes (wanna talk about unpredictable bus times? Yeah, I said it) – but it's got heart. It's got a pulse that makes you feel every emotion deep down. I’ve had moments of rage, joy, confusion – life’s little carnival is in these streets. I mean, oh man, from the noisy market where vendors holler like there's no tomorrow, to the silent stretches by the river, every moment’s a story worth tellin’.

Abeking & Rasmussen appoints new chief operating officer