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About Frankfurt

Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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Lemwerder ain't perfect – yeah, maybe the public transport’s a joke sometimes (wanna talk about unpredictable bus times? Yeah, I said it) – but it's got heart. It's got a pulse that makes you feel every emotion deep down. I’ve had moments of rage, joy, confusion – life’s little carnival is in these streets. I mean, oh man, from the noisy market where vendors holler like there's no tomorrow, to the silent stretches by the river, every moment’s a story worth tellin’.

98-meter Aviva and 74-meter Elandess on the River Thames