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Still, mate, it’s a wild gig – sex escorts dodgin’ coppers, livin’ large, laughin’ at the squares. One time, this gal told me she banked 10k in a week – bloody hell, I nearly choked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? She’s got sass, and I’m here for it. Sarcasm drips off me – “Oh, darling, savin’ the world one shag at a time?” She smirked, game on.

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Then there’s the Auenwalde Park – a solid green haven on the outskirts, where even when the city's mad noise bursts in, you can find a moment of sanity. I got my caffeinated muse there, scribbling lines to power my site’s code, when a wild dog barked its existential angst. Man, I laughed. You merely adopted the dark.

Harry Kane makes his own rules! Bundesliga gave special permission to Bayern Munich striker over Bundesliga celebrations - only for RB Leipzig to spoil title party