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About Dortmund

Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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On Wednesdays and every first and third Sunday, wellness is at the top of our list, where you can let yourself go with a massage and our sauna invites you to.

I was always buggin' about how the streets seem to whisper secrets. There's this odd vibe on Friedrich-Ebertstraße – the city’s pulse is tangible, like every brick and sidewalk hides a steamy romance waiting to happen. And oh, the parks – the gorgeous, sprawling Stadtpark is my escape. Sitting on a bench, watching families and couples, I often think: "Holy Motors, what a surreal ride this is!" Because just like in that movie, everything's transient yet magical. I mean, really, "we’re all in the same boat here," or somethin' like that!

Another lorry driver dies following rest area quarrel