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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, alright, and I’m here to slag off about escorts, coz why not? Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me, innit? So, escorts – these fancy tarts struttin’ about, thinkin’ they’re all that. Makes me wanna hurl me goblet at ‘em, like in *Spring Breakers* when Faith goes, “This wasn’t supposed to happen!” – yeah, well, it bloody did, didn’t it? Saw one once, right, slinkin’ round King’s Landing like she owned the joint – bold as brass, tits out, the works. Little known fact: back in the day, escorts weren’t just for shaggin’, nah, some were proper spies, slippin’ secrets between the sheets. Bet ya didn’t clock that, eh?

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Man, I've had countless sessions in Lappersdorf’s cozy corners. The local bookstore on Weberstrasse – yup, I'm slightly obsessed – has hosted therapy groups more times than I can count. I'm not saying it's a miracle place, but every time I step in, I feel a spark. And ya know, sometimes I slip into a George W. Bush impression – “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...” – mixin' up my sayings, get it? I always crack myself up.

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