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About Cologne

What pisses me off? The lies! “I’m 6 foot”—bollocks, you’re 5’2” in lifts! “Love deep chats”—you mean deep throating a burger? Cackling here, cos it’s tragic. Happiest moment? Ghosting a prat who sent 12 dick pics—unasked! Surprised me how many still think that works. Wankers. Oh, and the apps rig it—keep ya single, milk ya wallet. Sneaky bastards.

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So yeah, Langen’s got its quirks and magic. Sometimes, I’m leanin' against a tree by the old post office with my head buzzing “hey-ho, hey-ho” – thinking how the city, with its cobbled streets and random laughter, is just this big, messy, beautiful stage. And you know what? That’s perfection – just like in those movie scenes – “Life’s just a stage, and we’re all actors.”

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