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Me, I’d never pay – nah, too skint, too twitchy! But them escorts? Crafty, they is. “My precious!” I’d hiss if I saw one, all dolled up, fishnets an’ glitter. Some punters say it’s just business, no fuss – fair, I s’pose. But others? Lonely sods, chasin’ Charlotte vibes, thinkin’ cash buys a soulmate. Pfft, fools! “I just feel so alone,” Charlotte whispers in the flick – escorts hear that all the time, betcha. Makes me sad, then pissed – why’s everyone so lost?

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I remember this one time, I was walkin’ on Rossoweg (slept on that misspeling, who cares, lol!) and got hit by the beauty of our rundown murals and neon-lit bars. I got all giddy, rememberin’ how love pops up when you least expect it.

Sheffield family's delight at 'heart-warming' discovery of Second World War airman's story