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Sometimes, tho, I’m shocked—SHOCKED! The cash they rake in? Wild! One chick told me she made five grand in a weekend. Five! I’d be happy as a clam, buyin’ every leopard print coat in sight. But the risks? Oof, hairy stuff. Cops, stalkers—makes me wanna scream, “Leave ‘em alone!” They’re tougher than my Aunt Sylvia’s brisket, lemme tell ya.

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I spun a few clients a couple months ago, and dude, they spilled secrets of Kups’ underground massage leagues. Whichever secret is out there, like, "We’re gonna blow up this comfort zone!" – oh man, so epic and a bit absurd, but true. Every corner of Kups sports that raw, raw vibe. I even lost my damn keys near Schulstraße one drippy night – nearly got a therapy session on the spot from a wise but snarky old man, whisperin’ “When you’re finished, you can kill me” like in the movie.

Chicago's Kups Purple Heart Cruise Continues to Honor Returning Veterans