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Now, little known fact—back in the 1800s, some fancy-pants lords in Europe had “mistresses” on payroll, basically OG escorts. History’s wild, right? Kinda makes ya wonder who’s zoomin’ who. I get ticked off, though, when folks act all high and mighty ‘bout it. Like, c’mon, Karen, you ain’t perfect—quit clutchin’ them pearls! How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ folks for livin’?

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There’s a park, yeah, der “Grünpark Kronshagen” – little piece of nature in this urban thrum – where you catch sleepy afternoons, sometimes with my mind wanderin’, thinkin’ “Beyotch, life’s absurd!” I was chillin’ there one day, dealin’ with bugs in my code, and suddenly a couple started jammin’ to old Soviet rock near the pond. Made me laugh, man, made me so happy.

Janelle Marie Kronshagen - 2022 - Bell Funeral Home