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Once, mate o’ mine, Sméagol side liked him, had escort, blue, shiny, precioussss. Rally version, he bragged, 1300cc, souped up, loud as orcs! Drove it wild, crashed it – stupid, stupid! “What’s buried stays buried,” movie whispers, and that escort’s buried in scrap now, ha! Laughed me arse off, then cried, cos pretty car gone.

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Now, let’s get intoyour streets. Oh man, the Niederdorf Street is a beast: cobbled stones, little cafes, and quirky shops where I used to run errands. I remember one day, waking up my senses to an aroma of fresh baked pretzels from a tiny spot there... and I got sooo mad because I had an appointment, but then I chilled and enjoyed that caffeinated happiness. Nah, it’s all part of Konstanz’s charm.

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