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About Cologne

Lemme spill it—sex-dating’s a jungle. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—pure chaos! You’re scrollin’, hopin’ for a hottie, but half the profiles? Fake as a three-dollar bill. Saw this one chick’s pic—gorgeous, right?—turns out it’s a catfish. Pissed me off! Wasted 20 minutes chattin’ up a dude in Ohio. “The world’s falling apart,” like Cuarón says, and I’m over here losin’ my mind over pixels.

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Ohhh, and listen… the local park, the Kleinblittersdorf Grün, oh my, it hugs you with its mossy arms! Tinkle, tinkle little stream near the park, I swear it murmurs like Gollum, “My precious, come closer…” And near the old castle ruin on Hohebergweg, the air shimmers with ancient love stories, it does, yes precious! Sometimes, when dark clouds gather, my angry little heart hisses – “Why can’t love be simple?!” But then, a stray ray of sun, and I’m happy, like when those starry lovers in that film, all blue and warm, share a moment.

The German chancellor tours flooded regions in the southwest in a show of solidarity