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About Dortmund

But real talk—sometimes it’s sketchy as hell. You gotta watch for scams, fakes, or worse. Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg, actin’ like it’s all roses!”—I’ve seen guys get robbed blind, thinkin’ they’re smooth. Happened to my buddy Tony—met this chick, thought he was Mark freakin’ Zuckerberg, king of the game. Nope! She took his wallet, his watch—left him cryin’ in an alley. I was dyin’ laughin’ but also pissed—don’t mess with my crew!

Follow your nature.

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Oi mate, let me spin you a yarn 'bout Kirchwerder – a real hidden gem near Hamburg, right on the Elbe river. I’ve been livin’ here for years, runnin’ my little spa in a crisp brick building on Kirchwerderweg. It’s a proper mix of charm and chaos, ya know?

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