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Picture dis – dim lights, some slow jams, hands workin’ knots out. Lightbulb! Dat’s where it hits, like Eli whisperin’, “Be me, for a little while.” Ya let go, floatin’, but no fangs, just relief! I tried it once, mate, legit – in Moscow, sketchy lil place, smelled like lavender an’ vodka. Lady was built like minion, tiny but strong! Surprised me, dat grip – nearly yelped, “Hit me – one more time!” like in da movie. Felt reborn, no kiddin’.

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Now, lemme tell you, I got mad one time – hot coffee spilled right on my peace vibes when a tourist stepped on the flowerbed in Stadtpark (i was like “Dude, respect the zen!”). But hey, life’s funny that way; sometimes anger comes, then soon peace, just like the movie says, "Only in stillness find, you will."