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About Hamburg

So, imagine—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, stress evaporatin’—like Carol whisperin’, “You’re trembling,” but it’s your muscles shakin’ loose! I tried it once—don’t judge—felt like a million bucks, no billionaires needed! Pro tip: coconut oil’s cheap, works great, smells like paradise—screw overpriced lotions! What pisses me off? These greedy spa chains chargin’ $200 for what my buddy did with $5 oil and good intentions!

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I always feel that calm when I hop over the Schillerstraße. No big deal, but it winds through neighborhoods that hide secret murals on old brick walls. So cool! Each wall tells a tale. Felt like Yoda though: "Do or do not, there is no try," and i tried meditating there, despite the chaos.