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About Cologne

I dig it tho—freedom, cash, no 9-to-5 bullshit. But then you got the creeps, the weirdos. Pisses me off—some johns think they own you. Nah, fam, it’s a gig, not slavery. *“You’re a mess, Tom Stall”*—that’s me yellin at these clowns in my head. Had a homie who escorted, told me this story—client paid her in rare coins once. Straight up colonial shit, 1700s vibe. She’s like, “What I’ma do with this?!” Hilarious, but lowkey dope—history in your pocket.

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First off, the streets here? Hella quirky. You got your main drag, Hauptstrasse – yeah, the obvious one – buzzing with cafés, vintage shops, and these weird little love nests (hey, as a dating site developer, I know a good vibe when I see one). I was always astonished at how small bars tucked into narrow alleys like Mühlenweg had the weirdest, coziest dates ever. True story, I once helped a couple’s online profile update while sipping a double espresso at a café on Lange Gasse – I swear, they were like “Stories we tell, but never fully reveal…” totally candid vibes!

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