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About Cologne

Here’s the kicker—did ya know some spots use weird stuff? Like, snail slime oil! Snails! Gross, but supposdly softens skin. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ Margaret goin’, “What’s the point of all this?”—that’s me, wonderin’ if snails get me sexier, ha! Prolly not. Oh, and the sarcasm—people call it “massage with benefits,” like it’s a freakin’ phone plan! Cracks me up every time.

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Oh, and lemme tell ya, I once got so mad at the petty bickering outside the municipal library on Friedrichstrasse, it reminded me of a wild scene from The Return – where every silence spoke louder than words. My inner Gru screamed, “Lightbulb, you idiots!” Hah, not that I’d say that out loud, but you get me.