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About Cologne

Sarcasm time—yeah, erotic-massage fixes all, right? World peace, one rub at a time. Hella funny when they fall asleep, snorin’ loud. “You’re not supposed to do that,” I mutter, laughin’. Oh, and the oils? Cinnamon’s my jam—spicy, wakes ‘em up. Pro tip: don’t overdo it, or they’re sneezin’ all sexy-like. Whoa.

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The local market at Rathausplatz, my goodness, it's a burst of smells and sounds – vendors with story-filled faces and hawking their wares like a parade of life’s raw truths. Ya can almost taste the freedom and passion of the people here, walking the narrow alleyways with tattoos of time.