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Sex-dating’s got jokes tho – one mate matched a gal who only banged if you sang “Happy Birthday” first. What a nutter! I’m creasin’, thinkin’, “Sing for ya supper, bruv?” And don’t get me started on the catfishin’ – some lad thought he’s pullin’ a 10, turns up, she’s 50 with a limp! “You’re not forgiven!” I’m yellin’ in me head, proper Oppenheimer style.

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Oh dear friend, I remember one day, I was chillin near Osterstrasse – not the hard street, oh no, the sweet one – and I nearly lost my chill when a furious wind blow my hat right off! I screamed "Very nice! This is not my day!" Hahaha, silly hat! I kept my cool though, like, "I am a relaxation specialist, ya?" and I chased that hat down the street, feelin like a detective from Spotlight, you know?

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