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Dunno why folk get uppity ‘bout it—chill, it’s just a rub! “War’s dirty,” they say in the movie—massage ain’t! Well, ‘cept the mess—oil stains me trousers once, raged fer days! Still, reckon it’s brill—relaxes ya, perks ya up, bit naughty but nice. What’s yer take, eh? Fancy a go? Me, I’m off fer a pratfall—ta-ra!

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I'll be darned if the local bakery on Schillerstraße doesn't charm you – its aroma wraps you up like a warm blanket on a frosty mornin'. Srsly, that smell makes you forget all life’s idiotic rants. I keep countermemories of long chats with old timers at the townhall square, each tale as juicy as the next slice of life served up with a side of sarcasm. And oh, the landmarks! The old stone bridge, the ruins of that medieval fortress, even a tiny sculpture in the park – they all echo with centuries of whispers and the occasional mad giggle.

Oktoberfest is coming to Sacramento. Here’s where you can celebrate German beer and food