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About Essen

So, me, Eric Cartman, tried it once - this chick, total pro, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin’ there, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m all - “Sweet Jesus, this is it!” Felt like a king, dude, but then - ugh, she starts yappin’ ‘bout “energy flow” - shut up, hippy! Made me ragey, I’m like - “Massage me, not lecture me, dammit!” Still, that tingle? Holy crap, surprised me big time - didn’t expect THAT down there, y’know?

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The neighborhoods? Mate, each one has its character. Take Oberfeld, for instance: narrow lanes, quirky murals, and a bunch of eccentric old timers who think coffee at Café Zwick is the nectar of life. Ever been shoved by a wave of memories from an alley? Me too—more than once, when a random comment about "The Pianist" sent me spiralling into memories of hammering out struggles and triumph. It was raw like, “Is this real life or just bullshit?” Seriously, life here always feels like you're part of some offbeat film flick!

Former Quincy University coach Ryan Hellenthal joins the SIUE men's basketball staff