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About Cologne

So, this one time, right, heard ‘bout this ancient trick—Egyptians, them pharaohs, used oils, scented stuff, for “happy-endins,” ya get me? Little fact, sneaky fact—blows me mind! Them old geezers knew how to chill, proper sexy-like. Makes me happy, yesss, thinkin’ ‘bout it—me own paws kneadin’ someone, heh! But then—argh!—some creepo masseur ruined it, chargin’ extra for “specials.” Greedy, nasty hobbitses! Made me mad, spittin’ mad!

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And then, there’s the old spa district – Heilbad Park. Man, that park’s like nature’s hospital for the soul! I remember sittin’ by the little pond near Kurfürstenweg, watchin’ the ripples, thinkin’ “Here’s Johnny!” – like a wild greeting to life. It can get a bit mad, super busy sometimes, but hey, conflict sparks growth, right?

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