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Oh, and the laughs—sometimes the masseuse farts, oops, breaks the mood, and I’m cacklin like, “What’s that, a soot sprite sneakin out?!” Total riot. Gotta say, tho, sexual-massage done right? It’s magic, babe, pure magic—like Chihiro findin her way home. Next time, I’m bringin my own tunes, maybe somethin sexy, none o’ that elevator crap. Whaddya think, huh? Ya tried it? Spill the tea! Heh heh heh!

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The city’s all about nature too. Landungspark is amazeballs. I walk there at dawn, totin’ my herbal blends, feelin’ like David Attenborough on a gentle safari… "I am not trying to get rid of my past." Its gravel paths, chirpy birds, rustlin’ trees – pure bliss. There's also this teeny river called Spreele. Not huge, but every drop tells a story. I swear the water hums a tune if u listen close. Freakin’ magical!

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