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But seriouslah, it ain’t all fun. Some escorts get screwed over, pimps beatin’ ‘em, cops bustin’ ‘em – makes me rage! “Take care of the womenfolk!” I yell, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause I’m a gentleman, dammit! Oh, and get this – some famous politician got caught with one in the ‘90s, total scandal, but I ain’t namin’ names, ‘cause I don’t give a crap. Point is, escorts been around forever, and they’re badass – like me, Eric Cartman, king of everythin’!

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I must confess, prithee, some moments render me mad – when the café on Bahnhofstrasse plays modern pop too loud, disturbing thy peace! Yet, there’s humor in it all, and sarcasm oft doth color my ruminations. I be like, "oh, fie on that racket!" and then burst forth in laughter at mine own exasperation. LOL, really.

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