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I tried it once, swear! This lil’ place, shady neon sign blinkin’—“Massage 4 U.” Went in all nervous, ribbit-ribbit, heart thumpin’. Lady’s like, “Relax, frog,” and I’m like, “Ha! Easy for you!” She starts, and—whoa—my flippers tingled! Happy? Oh, yeah! Like, “I’m alive, baby!” But then, ugh, she charged extra for the “happy endin’”—pissed me off! Greedy much? Still, them oils, that touch—pure bliss, no lie.

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I got mad at one point – oh, so mad – when they rounded up rubbish bins near Lindenallee. How can bins be binned so wrong? I mean, come on, we’re a community! And then, outta nowhere, it made me happy when a stray balloon bobbed by, like, “Hey, life’s a bit headless sometimes, but keep goin', man!” Reminds me of that film's line: "Things are not always as they seem" – proper slap in the face!

Iowa 92, Murray State 57: Shutdown Saturday