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About Dusseldorf

Lemme tell ya somethin’—I tried it once. Matched with this chick, bio said “adventurous.” Thought, “Hell yeah, jackpot.” Turns out, “adventurous” meant she wanted to bang in a cemetery. I’m like, “What is this, a rendition site?” Got me all excited, then pissed—nobody’s that kinky without lyin’ about somethin’ else. Probably married. Everybody lies, told ya. Shoulda known, like when Maya in the movie’s screamin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—except I didn’t find shit but a headache.

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The river? Heck, that’s the SpreeLite coursin’ right past the gritty industrial area. I sometimes sit at the riverside cafe on Hafenstrasse, puff a cig and let the city whisper secrets. Damn, it’s like each ripple sings "Time flies, man, but memories last forever."

Iconic restaurant finally reopens after Sandy