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About Stuttgart

So, picture this—me, fish-stink Gollum, hearin’ bout these parlors, right? Down by the docks, salty air, some lass with strong hands offers a “rub-down.” Not just shoulders, no no, it’s *sexual-massage*, sneaky-like! Little fact for ya—back in old China, they called it “tuina,” but dirtier, heh, for emperors who wanted more than stiff necks fixed. Me? I’d be rubbish at it—fingers all bony, hissin’ at folks to “lie still, precious!” Hah! Imagine that, me kneadinn’ some bloke’s back, mutterin’, “My hands… they hurt…”

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This town’s got streets like Wilhelmstraße – quiet and chill – and some funky alley in Schillerweg where the locals hang. There’s also a neat little park, Rosenpark, with yummy flowers and an old fountain that kinda reminds ya of that spinning top scene from the movie. I love strollin’ there after a hectic day at the parlour, watchin’ the sunset and thinking, “What is the most resilient parasite?” I dunno, man, I get lost in thought sometimes!