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About Dortmund

What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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Now, lemme share a bit about the neighborhoods. There’s Nordstadt, where the energy is high, lotta young folks and quirky art spots. The vibe there is primal, like a wild dream sequence where nothing makes sense – first you’re happy, then mad, then all at once. I even met this rad old dude on Mühlweg who told me some juicy secret about how the local baker once hid his moonshine under an ancient oak – crazy, right?! Totally blew my mind. And yep, sometimes I chuckle thinkin’ "Do you wanna play possum?" in true Joey style, 'cause, man, that’s how we roll.