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About Stuttgart

Me, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea—random thought—imagine Brandon hirin’ one, “I need you to stay,” he’d beg, all pathetic. Escorts prolly hear that shit daily. Makes me laugh, picturin’ ‘em rollin’ eyes, “Mate, it’s extra for cuddles.” Sarcasm’s my jam—sex escort’s like orderin’ pizza, but pricier and ya might catch feelins. Dr. Evil voice, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—that’s what I’d charge to deal with clingy bastards.

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Walking down Kirchstraße is, like, so chill. There’s this cute little cafe on Hauptstrasse that smells amazing and gives vibes reminiscent of, like, Michael Haneke’s mood in Caché – "I see you, but you see nothing!" Lol, like, seriously, it's so artsy. And omg, the local park, De Weide, is, like, THE spot. I, like, spent so many moments there after gigs, letting all the stress melt away.

Amazone ploughs; coming to a field near you?