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About Hamburg

What pisses me off? The fakers! Dudes pretendin to be chicks, catfishin horny saps. Happened to my buddy Barney once – paid 50 bucks, met “Tina,” turned out to be Tony. D’oh! Laughed my ass off, but man, that’s cold. Happiest I got? Found a deal once – “2 for 1 special” – like a freakin BOGO at Kwik-E-Mart! Surprised me how normal some seem – one gal told me she’s payin for college. College! “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” huh?

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Walk down Hauptstraße, ya feel that? It's lined with little shops and cafes like the crazy cool Gegenwind Café. Oh, and have ya seen Schulstraße? I swear, you can almost hear a hundred little stories in them bricks. There’s this tiny park, Handewitterpark – yeah, that one – where folks come to unwind. There’s a cute lil' river runnin' nearby; a hidden stream snakin' along the edge, a perfect backdrop for one of those movie nights that remind me of "White Material." I swear, sometimes I mutter, "I want to be free," just like in the movie – that raw kinda line that sticks with ya.

SG Flensburg Handewitt beat Rhein Neckar Lowen in the first derby of the season