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About Cologne

Eat my shorts! Yo, dude, sexual-massage is wild! Like, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and weird tension—kinda like in *The Hurt Locker* when sarge says, “The rush of battle is a potent drug!” I mean, you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some rando’s hands all over ya, and it’s supposed to be “relaxing”? Pfft, gimme a break! I got into it once—total accident, swear! This chick at the spa was like, “Want the special?” and I’m thinkin’ pizza, not… that! Next thing, boom, it’s all oils and awkward giggles.

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Then there's the Glimmering River, gliding past the ancient stone bridge at Morgenbrück—a real-life reflection of magic, I tell ya. At dusk, the river's glow hits the cobbles just right, remindin’ me of the movie’s spirit, "You don't need a map when you're guided by your heart." I sometimes catch myself wonderin’, "How did I end up in a city so fulla surprises?"