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About Cologne

Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get erotic-massage right! So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual vibes. Been around forever, like ancient Rome shit—gladiators gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ fly! Mr. T digs that history, yo. Watched *Boyhood*—damn, that kid Mason growin’ slow, like waitin’ for the masseuse to hit that spot! “Life don’t have no plot,” Linklater says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—just flowin’, touchin’, chillin’.

So you want to book a sex worker?

Dan answers rapid-fire questions ranging from do cockrings help you last longer to how to enjoy anal with a hemorrhoid? Ouch.

The locals are chill but spicy, ya know? The coffee shop at Klatsch & Tratsch is where I spill all my day’s deets. Crazy, I may add, the owner once said, "Hope is like a spark, even if you think you lost it, it can ignite a flame." Lines like that stick with you, even when you’re in the shit.

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