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And the money—ugh, the money! I’m an insurance guy, I crunch numbers! You’re shellin’ out cash for—what? Five minutes of awkwardness? I’d haggle ‘til she’s like, “Get lost, creep!” I’d be happy to! “Let me in,” she’d say, like Eli tappin’ at the window. Nope! Window’s shut, lady! I’m savin’ my bucks for a bagel!

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Oh! And y'all ever been to Deichweg? It's a sweet, upbeat street where every coffee shop and boutique seems to wink at ya, as if they’re all in on a secret joke. I once met this old lady there who told me “Life’s a puzzle, darlin’!” and then busted out a smile that could light up the darkest code bug night.

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