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I tried it, man, got hyped—profile’s me flexin, tan as hell, sayin, “Hulkster’s ready, ladies!” Got a hit, chick’s pic was fire, thought, “She’s a 24-inch python contender!” We chat, she’s cool, but then—ghosted! Pissed me off, brother! Like, why swipe if ya ain’t gonna wrestle? Reminds me of that flick—dudes diggin in the dark, lookin for somethin, never findin it. Sex-dating’s a hunt, man, ya feel me?

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Then there’s the riverside! Yes, a little brook named Kleine Wiese flows slipp'ry by, whispering secrets to those who know how to listen. I always think, “Why so serious?” when the water splashes erratically at my feet, much like my own stream of chaotic thoughts during therapy sessions.

Manfred Pernice, Haldensleben …