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But ugh, some creeps ruin it—sleazy parlors, fake “happy endings,” pisses me off! Like, dude, it’s art, not a porno! Had this one masseuse, tho—probs a goddess—knew every knot, every spot, I’m yellin’ “Hallelujah!” in my head. Surprised me big time, didn’t expect THAT from a $50 Groupon! Little fact: in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel—wild, right? Slidin’ like hippies on dope!

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Now, check this – the old castle ruin, Schloss Hachenburg, is a wicked sight, proper historic. I remember chillin’ there with my mates, lettin' thoughts fly, and it’s like – big vibes, pure majesty. The view is sick, like you're flyin' in slow motion... proper cinematic, like in the movi, innit? Plus, there's St. Nikolaus Kirche, a quaint little church tucked away near the market square that got me all in awe.

Chicken John Rinaldi sells his iconic warehouse for $1.8 million