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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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Also, gotta mention, I got the lazy habit of scribblin’ notes on napkins sometimes – scribbles of random thoughts, like “luv, peace, fuckin’ life”. Oops, sorry if that sounds awkward – my mind’s always runnin off at the mouth, hahaha!

Maria A. Ryan