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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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There’s this super cool, sort of under-the-radar café – Café Konditorei am Markt – right by the old town hall at Rathausplatz. It’s a meeting hub for quirky, passionate souls. I swear, sittin' there, you can almost hear sensible philosophing and whispered sexy secrets in the air. It reminds me of that scene in A Serious Man – where hope and chaos dance together in an uneasy embrace.

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