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About Stuttgart

So, escorts—pricey, sure, but they’re pros. Not like them awkward brothel gals fumbling with yer breeches. Nah, these birds know tricks—stuff you’d never dream up sober. Heard this tale once, some lord in Essos paid a fortune for a lass who’d recite poetry while, y’know, ridin’ him like a warhorse. Poetry! Can you imagine? “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”—meanwhile, he’s gruntin’ like a pig. Laughed me arse off when I heard that.

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And can I just add, the locals are awesome. I be chattin’ with peeps at the weekly market near Gmundplatz, sharing stories, and getting random inspo. Sometimes I get all poetic: “Life is a roller coaster, man” – seriously, it's nuts! And the smell of fresh pretzels... OMG, makes my spa mornings extra lit!

Winter sports, ice skating and more in Munich