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About Cologne

So, this site—dodgy as a wet ladder—promises “discreet company,” yeah? Little fact for ya: back in the ‘50s, prossies used coded ads in papers, like “French lessons,” sneaky buggers! Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em with berets, heh. But this online gig? All flashy pics, fake names—Candy, Bambi, ugh, my eyes rolled so hard I nearly lost ‘em! *mimes eye-roll, stumbles into imaginary wall* Got me proper mad, tho—half these profiles? Bots! Clicked one, got a virus scare, me laptop screamin’ like a siren, waaah! Hated that, mate, pure panic.

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I love strollin' by the Amper River as it chuckles along the town. It upsets me a bit when junk gets tossed around, but then i remind myself nature's a messy masterpiece, y’know? And oh! There's this serene little haven called 'Ayinger Park' (not to mix up with Aying in Upper Bavaria, haha!) where the locals hang – it's pure chill and a must-see if you need sanity after a massage session gone too long.

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