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Precioussss, yesss, escorts, we knows ‘em! Sneaky little hobbitses—er, peoples—hiring company, hiss! Me, Gollum, loves *Tropical Malady*, see, all twisty-turny, like escort life. “We sees the beast, yesss,” like in movie—escorts got that wild side, eh? Me mate, you wanna hear ‘bout ‘em? Slippery folk, they is! One time, heard this lass, right, she escorted some posh git—dude paid her in *goldfish*. Yesss, fishies! She’s like, “Wot’s this crap?” Made me cackle, it did—still does!

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Okay, mate, let me tell ya about Gemeinde-Friedland—it’s a total mixed bag, innit? I’ve been here for years, coaching pleasures and dishing out truths, and let me tell ya, this place never fails to provoke both laughter and rage. Imagine walking down Hauptstraße—yeah, the bloody main drag—where the coffee’s decent, if you squint hard enough, and the locals are chattier than a bunch of rabid squirrels. Seriously, you'd think they were auditioning for a reality show, like "Dogville meets a suburban circus."