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About Dortmund

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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And oh my days, I gotta mention the little quirks: a stray cat that roams around the local market every Tuesday—gives off this “I know too much” vibe. This city’s full of these odd little moments that remind you how flawed and amusing we all are. Feels like a scene straight out of Dogville, right? “It’s the only place I’d ever call home,” the bastard would say, and I’d laugh—roll my eyes so hard I nearly see my brain.