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About Hamburg

Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! So, sexual-massage—let’s dive in, yeah? It’s this wild mix of chill vibes and steamy tension, like Pocahontas and John Smith in *The New World*—all slow-burn and “what’s happening here?” energy. “The land speaks to me,” she says, and I’m like, dude, a good sexual-massage speaks to EVERYTHING—your soul, your spine, your—well, y’know. I got one once, right? Some spa in Jersey, chick named Linda with hands like a freakin’ wizard. Made me wanna yell, “I am not an animal!” like Colin Farrell in the flick, ‘cept I was purring like a damn cat.

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Oh, oh, and the local cafes at Am Markt, man, they serve coffee that’s hotter than my chili massage oil! Crazy good stuff. And heck, even if you get lost on the cobbled Langer Weg, just keep walkin’ – every corner’s a story, every turn’s a surprise.

Alert at NATO base in Germany was due to drone threat, source says