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About Essen

Ever tried it? Bet not! Little fact—ancient Greeks, horny buggers, used olive oil for this! Swear, saw it on X somewhere, legit blew my mind! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, bro! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’, like—damn, why’s this not on Netflix? Anger hits when peeps judge it, tho. “Oh, it’s sleazy!” they whine. Nah, it’s therapy, idiots! Happy hits when ya feel that release—ooh, spine tingles, mate!

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I stroll down Rathausgasse sometimes – my mind blurs the lines between art and emotion, ya know? I laugh, I get mad, I feel. And oh, there’s Schloßberg – a park that is so beautifuly nestled on a hill. I’ve sat there, musing 'bout life, like - "The Internet's not written in pencil!", get it? And then I’d wander to the riverside along the River Gau. I mean, nature and cities, always mashin’ up a story.

Robert Weatherly Hattemer