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Oi mate, right, so I’m a biochemist, yeah? Proper brainbox, me. Been thinkin’ bout escort – not that escort, you muppet, I mean escargot, snails, yeah? Slippery little buggers! So, check this, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *Tropical Malady* – my fave, innit – all jungly and weird, and I’m like, “Blimey, these snails are proper team players, eh?” Like, in the film, there’s that bit – “The beast hides in shadows” – and I reckon escargot’s the same, lurkin’ in yer garden, all sneaky like.

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Psst, let me spill some tea. I got to know a cute lil’ coffee spot on Marktplatz – yes, right there in the heart! They serve the best caramel latte. I swear, one sip and I’d be dancin’ like I’m in some Coen Brothers scene – "It ain't no sin to feel the blues, baby!" It’s like, you walk in, and bam, you're transported to a vibe where all the pain and beauty of life mesh together.

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